What I've Done
by Magdalan-Saiyan-Toa
Summary: Songfic, Oneshot. I blame myself for all that has happened to us. Everything that has happened is at my fault. I take the blame for them, all of them. They have done nothing, I have done…everything.


Kaji: This is something I had an idea for for the longest time. I don't know why, but this song seemed to suit him. I won't tell you who "he" is yet, but it becomes evident within the first paragraph, I think. Sorry that it skips quite a bit and may be confusing, but I wanted to fit the song. Slightly NokaVaka fluff at parts.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Bionicle or "What I've Done," Lego and Linkin Park do.

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What I've Done

I blame myself for all that has happened to us. Everything that has happened is at my fault. I take the blame for them, all of them. They have done nothing, I have done…everything.

They look at me as a fool and an idiot. I am no leader, even despite what Nokama thinks.

* * *

"Vakama?" her gentle voice cut through my thoughts.

"Go away, Nokama."

"What is wrong?"

"I'd rather not say."

"No one else will hear it. It's late."

"I'm a cross-wired freak is what."

"No you're not, you're Vakama, Toa Metru of Fire. You are my _friend_."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not." There was a few seconds of silence before she spoke again. "How about this, I tell you a secret of mine and you tell me one of yours?"

"I'd rather not…"

"I'll go first, if it makes you feel better." She dipped her toes into the liquid-dermis. "When I was a Matoran, I had few friends. Vhisola was my only _true_ friend. I was quite quiet through school, when I was a student, that is. And when I became a teacher, I didn't have enough time to be with Vhisola. I lost her as a friend, and now I'm a Toa and she…she hates me. I've lost a friend but…I've gained another."

"Who?" I asked, quite curious as to who her new friend was.

"You."

* * *

**In this farewell,  
There's no blood,  
There's no alibi.  
**

* * *

"I'm sure there's something."

"Well…Turaga Dume wanted me to make a mask, a special mask, you see."

"And what was the mask's name?"

"Vahi." I looked away from her and out to the rising moon.

"The Great Mask of Time?" she gasped in a soft voice.

"Yes."

She was stunned.

"I wish I could have seen it." she admitted.

"Why? There's nothing special about it."

"A Great Mask such as the Vahi could have been used to help me decipher the most now illegible scriptures. That, and it could help many other Matoran."

"It's a dangerous mask, Nokama."

"I know, but still…"

* * *

**'Cause I've drawn regret,  
From the truth  
Of a thousand lies.**

* * *

"The Mask of Time." Makuta breathed. An snarl appeared upon his already twisted mask. "You are a great mask maker, Vakama. You could have many destinies." He moved closer. "Fire and shadow are a mighty combination. Come join my brother and I, Vakama."

"I desire but one noble destiny," I said, placing the Vahi over my own Kanohi. "More than any power _you _could offer me."

"Than accept you doom!"

Makuta's dark energies gathered and they twisted in my direction with incredible speed. I felt the Vahi tingle and then it radiated a golden light, slowing down the time between the two of us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. It was Turaga Lhikan. He was running to us and dove before I was struck by the energy bolt. It broke the shield his own mask had created, sending him to the ground.

I was unable to move quick enough to stop it. I was helpless to help the one who had helped me so many times before.

The Mask of time went flying and I was beside Lhikan the instant it was gone.

"That was meant for me." I managed to choke out.

"No," he responded weakly "this is my lifetime's journey. Yours lies beyond." He pointed off to the Great Barrier. "Trust your vision. I am proud to… have called you brother… Toa Vakama."

His heart light flickered, and he was gone. I removed his mask and lowered my head, feeling Makuta's shadow creep to me.

"Fool!" thundered the brother of Mata Nui. "Without the Mask of Time, it will take a lifetime to achieve what destiny demands. But your lifetime will be brief."

* * *

**So let mercy come,  
And wash away  
What I've done.**

* * *

The blasts were wild and the battle was fierce. But managed to defeat the Master of Shadows. Locking him in a prison of Protodermis. 

I grew braver and even more foolish, but Nokama still believed in me.

We had brought the Matoran to a safe place, but we had yet to bring the others there, to the island, our new home.

I was too busy to listen to their childish bickering.

"Let's go!" I called to them, heading off into the once proud city.

I didn't like the looks of things, I could tell the others weren't too happy about it either, but I kept it to myself. I needed to be their leader, I needed to be strong.

"Whenua, what's with the webs?"

"Visorak." the Toa of Earth said. "Nasty creatures."

"Coming from you, that… well, that's not good." Onewa said, looking about nervously.

"I've never heard of such creatures." Nokama said to Whenua.

"Most haven't." Whenua explained. " They're not from around here… originally."

"An unexpected and unwelcome turn of events." the Toa of Water agreed. "But what does that change?"

"Nothing." I snapped. "We go to the Coliseum. We rescue the Matoran. We leave."

"Or we get pulverized." Whenua cut in.

* * *

**I'll face myself,  
To cross out what I've become.  
Erase myself,  
And let go of what I've done.**

* * *

I found myself paralyzed to the spot. The others soon did as well.

"Can't… move." I said to them.

Whenua fell forward, unable to keep his balance. "Can't stop!" he cried.

We found ourselves in a heap. I felt Nokama laying above me.

"Is everyone okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're right behind you, fearless leader, literally." Matau mocked.

"Bickering won't get us out of this, Matau." I heard Nokama say.

"No, but think-talking before charging strait into a trap might have."

"If you have something to say," I heard myself growl, "Matau, say it."

"Forget it, I've got bigger problems."

Scratching, scuttling, bloodcurdling noises rose from the darkness, as did the beings who were making them.

One word came to my mind: Visorak.

"Vakama," I heard Nokama call softly to me, her warm breath on the back of my neck. "What do we do?"

"I…I don't know…"

* * *

**What you thought of me,  
While I clean this slate,  
With the hands of uncertainty.**

* * *

Icy wind nipped at us through the cocoons we found ourselves in. 

"Hey firespitter!" I heard Matau called. "We can't say you didn't show us the city. Of course, we can say you got us captured, poisoned, and, seeing as I don't think we've been brought up here for the view, immediately smash-dashed!" Onewa tried to say something, but it was inaudible. "He agrees."

"This isn't Vakama's fault!" Nokama snapped. I winced at the sound of her voice, there was a pang in my heart. "Well… not entirely."

"Don't bother, Nokama." I said. "I tried to lead as best I could. I wish I was better at it, but I've learned one thing from all we've been through…it's that I am what I am. And no matter how much I might want to, I can't just change."

I felt a painful jolt shot through me, followed by many others. The other Toa seemed to be going through the same thing.

I felt the cocoon break and I felt myself being held on by only a thread.

"Va…Vakama!" Nokama cried.

"I'm sorry I let you all down."

* * *

**So let mercy come,  
And wash away  
What I've done.**

* * *

I woke in a room with my wrists bound. I struggled against them, fighting the bonds. 

"What has…happened to me?" I asked the air.

"You are becoming." a slick voice said. The being revealed herself. I sensed power and darkness radiating off her.

"Yes, but what?"

"A friend… or a foe?. That's for you to decide. It's why I have invited you here."

"Some invitation." I muttered. A smile appeared upon her lips.

"Then perhaps this one will be more to your liking— walk with me. I've a… proposal for you."

"And… if I don't want to hear it?"

"Be reasonable, Vakama." There was a laugh in her voice. She turned to walk away and she stopped; waving her hand, my bonds fell. "What harm will come from listening?"

"Vakama!" Nokama's voice raised above the sound of the Visorak. I felt a tug at my heart.

"Nokama…" I breathed. I heard Roodaka snarl in disgust.

"Not the one _you_ know, Nokama." the Queen of the Visorak said to the Toa Hordika of Water.

"I didn't hear _him_ say that." Matau called up to her.

"She's right." I said to them. "You're not here for the reason you think."

"We came here to save _you_!" Whenua stated.

"The only one who you can save now are yourselves. Bow down, and pledge your allegiance to me!"

* * *

**I'll face myself,  
To cross out what I've become.  
Erase myself,  
And let go of what I've done.**

* * *

"Your place is here, Vakama." Matau said. "Now. With us. We're here to rescue the Matoran." I growled. "You remember, don't you? You remember me and… and Onewa, how we used to joke with you? What about Nuju and Whenua? You remember them? How about Nokama?" Her name. 

"No…Nokama?" Why did I miss saying her name so much?

"Yeah, Nokama. She's down there, Vakama. She's down there fight to save you. She misses you." I looked at him innocently and then shook my head.

"You lie! Nokama is no longer my friend, none of you are!" I launched myself at him. He yelped and ducked.

"I came here to talk, not fight!" Matau said, dodging ever blow I threw at him 'What's happened to you? You know outside the obvious." He laughed nervously.

"Do not fight it, Matau, it is our _destiny_."

I flung myself at him and we tumbled off the side. I grabbed a web and quickly climbed up it to the ledge. I frowned when I saw Matau had down likewise. When he had reached the ledge I said to him:

"You're weak, brother."

"You're right, Vakama— I am weak. Nokama, Whenua, Onewa, Nuju— we all are."

"So at last you see the truth."

"Yeah, I guess I do. I've made a lot of fool-mistakes lately, Vakama. That's what happens when you're brave-tough enough to make decisions. I understand that now."

"Forgive me if I do not believe that, coming from you," I chuckled. "Now, let us finish this."

"Wait!" He threw up his hands. "I just want you to know that— I'm sorry. For ever-doubting you… you see, Vakama, that's the reason we're so deep-weak. We don't have you."

* * *

**For what I've done.  
I start again,  
And whatever pain may come.  
Today this ends,  
I'm forgiving what I've done!**

* * *

"Our Toa-strength comes from our unity, Vakama. Which means you can't ever-strong without us either— no matter what some screw-brained monster like Roodaka tells you." 

"I'm better— stronger— alone."

"I don't trust believe that. And I don't think you do, either. Things change— but you'll always be my friend and Toa-brother. And some more— something it took me to learn-see." He took a step back. "You're our leader, Vakama. You're _my_ leader." And with that he jumped off the edge.

"Matau!" I looked about frantically and grabbed a web, before following my brother.

"Wait!" cried Roodaka, "There's one missing."

"I've got him." I said, throwing Matau into the group.

"Thank you, Vakama." she said, a smile upon her face. She turned back to the captured Toa and Rahaga. "Now, about those powers…"

"You want them so bad?" Matau asked. He charged his Rhotuka spinner, the others followed. "Take 'em!"

They slammed into her, in a flurry of element. She staggered back and then laughed.

"Alright, who quick-launched the tickle spinner?" Matau joked. He received many a glare, wincing when they grew quite fierce.

"Fools! Your powers are useless… When they are not united." She eyed me out of the corner of her eye. "And, besides, Vakama side with me— "

"Actually…" I sat turning to face her. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

"You cannot defeat me." she laughed nervously. "Not when I have all of them." She gestured to the Visorak.

"In reality, Sidorak put the horde under my command, so…" I turned to the waiting Visorak. "Get out of here!" I bellowed at them, "You are free. That's an order."

There was a pause, before one by one, then ten by ten, and then one hundred by one hundred, they left.

"Traitors!" Roodaka screeched furiously.

"You cannot betray someone you are enslaved to."

"And to think, I thought you could have been king."

"I lead only those who _choose_ to follow me. That's the difference between being a leader and being a tyrant. A certain Toa taught me that. And something else… our destinies are not written in stone, set in place. They are something we have to find for ourselves."

* * *

**I'll face myself,  
To cross out what I've become.  
Erase myself,  
And let go of what I've done.**

* * *

"Vakama, remember when we first met?" Nokama asked. 

"Yes." I replied.

"Well, I have a secret I need to share, do you have one?"

"Um… sort of… Can I go first?"

"Certainly!"

"When I was under Roodaka's control, you kept saving me."

"I… I did?"

"Yes. Nokama, I lo— "

"Hey, Vakama, who're you talking to?" Whenua asked.

"Just Nokama."

"Really? Looks like you're talking to yourself."

I looked behind me to find Nokama was gone.

"There's always next time." I muttered.

* * *

**What I've done.  
Forgiving what I've done.**

* * *

Song: What I've Done

Artist: Linkin Park

* * *

Kaji: To me, at the beginning, Nokama seems kind of OOC-ish, doesn't she? Otherwise, I like this song because it has a lot to do with war, pollution, abortion, etc. It makes you really think. The guitar and such sounds pretty raw and awesome. Sarah blasts this whenever she's driving, so I began to think of which Toa it best suited. All of the Fire Toa seemed to fit into what I had wanted, but Vakama struck me best for the song. I just realized, I've been around this group so long, we all kind of have the same writing style.


End file.
